Defining
Some people always need to know exactly what something is. Do you see someone often? Then either you’re in a relationship, or you’re not. Binary. A 0 or a 1.
But not everyone is like this. Some people understand that not everything needs a label because it’s fine as it is. I personally know exactly what my relationships with others are, and hopefully, they know the same about their relationships with me.
This also applies to the relationship with yourself. I know my relationship with myself is real—I know where I’ve made mistakes and where I haven’t. How others might define that is up to them.
Religion works in a similar way. Whether or not a god exists is irrelevant to me (though you’re always free to ask yourself such questions). Not everything has to fit into a simple “yes” or “no.” There are people who, on paper, are in a relationship but no longer have any real connection with their partner. So, what does a label of 0 or 1 truly mean in that case?
The same goes for gender. Every man has feminine traits, and every woman has masculine traits. You are you—a person, a human being, with many dimensions.
Interestingly, this misunderstanding extends all the way to fundamental physics: everything has to be either a 0 or a 1. But that’s not how it works—everything exists in all states at once.
Stop Putting People in Boxes
Depressed or not depressed. Schizophrenic or not. Zeros and ones.
But real life doesn’t work like that. Your emotional bucket fills up a little each day, and suddenly, it seems like you’re depressed (a “1”).
That’s not how it truly works. It’s a gradual process, with drops adding up over time.
It looks more like this:
- Day 1: 0 depression
- Day 2: 0.1 depression
- Day 3: 0.05 depression
- Day 4: 0.15 depression
And so on, until one day the bucket overflows, and you’re a “1” (depressed). But what you don’t see is how it built up slowly over time.
The key, then, is to pay attention daily and notice which direction the ship is heading.