Tree

Look at life like you look at the most sacred thing you have ever seen.

Consciousness Is the Journey You Make Through Your Own Body

All smart people know this, so they leave hints for each other.
For example:

• “And then there was light.” This is about how your nervous system lights up on the inside of your body.

• Adam’s apple (about the thing in your throat, and a very specific moment in growing up when you become aware of your sexuality).

• Buddha’s tree: the guy who sat under a tree and still missed the point—he was looking at himself (his ego, literally).

There are more references, but these are already very good.

When you sit still for three seconds, your body—since it’s asymmetrical—will start to explain how it works, until you realise you are the thing on the other side as well.
It’s more or less a dance with yourself. It’s the most beautiful experience you will ever have.

It’s also metaphorically beautiful: if you don’t sit down and face your own thoughts, your own feelings, you will never really get it.

It takes courage.

The difficult part is acknowledging the real problem. For example: I have nothing to do at work, I’m bored, I don’t know where to start. Or: I’m going too hard, I’m exercising too much.

If you could say something to yourself right now,
what would you say?

You have to learn to work together with your thoughts, you know.

Robin’s Hidden Superpower

Kim and Alex are sitting at the dinner table with their child, Robin.

They are talking about Aunt Margot, who is coming over.

“Snow,” Robin says suddenly.

Kim and Alex look at each other. It’s always the same: they are talking about something, and then Robin talks about something completely different. It looks like Robin has a problem with focusing, or maybe a hearing problem.

“Snow?” they ask Robin politely.

But it’s already too late. Robin is talking about something else again. It’s always the same.
Kim and Alex are getting more worried every year. Maybe they have to go to the doctor to see what is wrong with Robin.

 

What Kim and Alex don’t know is that Robin has a hidden, soon-to-be-discovered superpower.

When they were talking about Aunt Margot, this is what happened in Robin’s head:

Aunt Margot → nephew Pete → Pete always has loose shoelaces → the feeling it would give if you would tickle those shoelaces on your face → red soles from the song “Loubou Shoes” → I want new shoes → I like playing outside → I need shoes with good soles so I don’t trip while playing in the snow → I like snow!

“Snow!” Robin said.

It would take years—and a lot of diagnoses later—to find out that Robin has one of the fastest brains in the world. Robin was actually forming new connections extremely fast.

By then, it was already almost too late.

Life as It Really Is

But what am I supposed to do now? Robin thinks.

They can say whatever they want, but they don’t understand how fast my mind goes. Everything is constant chaos.

“Just make up a story,” Robin suddenly hears a voice from above.

You can make up a story at any moment of the day and tell something about that moment. That’s the most fun thing there is. You don’t need anything for it, just your own mind.

If you sit still for a moment, then tell a story about that moment.

It doesn’t matter who you tell it to. You can do it inside your own head.

Just try it—sometimes it feels like there’s always someone in the universe listening. Even if you think no one can hear you.

“I’ll start,” Robin says.

“My leg hurts. It’s raining outside. I’m smelling my hand. I’m twisting my hair. I’m scratching my neck. I’m tickling my scalp. I’m thinking about what I’m going to tell you next.”

“I understand,” the voice says. “Life as it really is.”

I went to the doctor.

I said, “I don’t like my nose, doctor.”

“I can give you a different nose,” the doctor said.

“I don’t like my feelings, either.”

“I have a pill for that,” the doctor said.

“And I move a lot. I don’t seem to be able to sit still,” I said.

“I have a pill for that too,” the doctor said.

“Do you think we’re fixing the issue?” I asked.

“Yes,” said the doctor.

“The universe is the answer; the hard part is figuring out what the question is.”

Proud of the monkey.

What is happening in your body all at once
Just think about what is happening in your body all at once. Your knee is repairing itself. Two thoughts are arguing in the corner. Your feelings are pacing back and forth. Your ankle is stretching.
All of this is happening at the same time. Right now. How could your body possibly explain this?
Here comes a cunning old fox around the corner: the cunning fox called consciousness.

A body moves from one energy state to another energy state.
On Sunday, I think about all the energy states I have been through that week.
By cycling through them, I learned from them and dealt with them. You’ll find texts here that reflect my past energy states — some unstable, some stable. Writing is one of the things that helps me deal with them.

Curiosity is never punished. Suppressing curiosity is punished.

 

All sides of me

Explaining what consciousness is, is like explaining what a human is in one sentence. It’s not one thing, it’s multiple things at the same time. Like light that shines from multiple directions, from multiple perspectives.

What something is is never just one thing. It depends on how you look at it. If you see things in their movement, you see something different than people who only listen to what somebody has to say. Yet, both perspectives co-exist at the same time. So what something is, is never one-dimensional. It exists in all dimensions.

How to travel through dimensions
First, you have to understand what something is. Something is itself, but it is also how you look at it. You need an anchor, like movement. When we are all watching the same soccer game, one person is watching the best player, another is seeing the flow of the game back and forth, and somebody else may be focused on the score. Yet, we are all talking about the same game (the thing that is).

So what something is, in a way, exists — but in another way, reality exists only in relative terms. And when this universe started, there were no relative terms to describe it. At the beginning, there was no movement. And there was no best player.

Connection is the key that always works

Once, I had pain in my body. I didn’t dare to go there.

One day I decided it was enough. I went to feel it. I traveled to the inside of my knee. There, I felt the sensation. This was everything I had been afraid of all that time. All I had to do was feel with my knee.

Thinking is done with your whole body, not just with your head.

"I already didn’t need words for this."

Thinking is a style.

Written something every day

I want to have written something every day. Because I like doing it. Making something. I don’t want to explain why I like it, because it just is. It feels like I have to justify myself. This is how science feels to me: as if there always has to be an explanation for everything.

The explanation is that I just enjoy doing it, I like doing it, and that’s the whole explanation. As soon as I have to explain why I like making something, why it gives me a certain feeling, it doesn’t work for me anymore. Then it becomes ‘a thing’, and I don’t want it to be ‘a thing’.

Even when someone says, “I always like doodling on paper,” that’s already too much for me, because then it’s ‘a thing’. To have an opinion about it is to think about it, and thinking about it is exactly what I don’t do when I’m creating. Both in science and in the rest of the world, there are people who only have opinions about things or try to explain why things work the way they do, but that’s not how the world works for me at all.

If I say, “I just do it,” that’s as close as I can get to what I mean. As if I were just playing football in a square. This text, for example: no matter what you think of it, I haven’t thought for a second about what I’m typing right now. The words just come and keep coming. Maybe I’ll shuffle a few things around here and there – and then that voice pops up again: “Is this good enough? Are you wandering too far? The soul is going out of your story.”

Fuck off.

"Thoughts happen in the background.
Let them drift off now and then."

When you look at a thought, it's like blowing on it.

And then it drifts left or right.

You can also put a bubble in it.

Just try it.

For example, maybe thoughts are made of the same stuff as quantum.

I Am Here to Sell You a Different Perspective on Life

Religion is the process of understanding that everything is perfect and exactly how it should be.

That doesn’t mean you can’t change things.

Let me elaborate with an example.

My uncle wasn’t feeling well. Something was wrong with his lungs. He went to the doctor, and the doctor told him he had COPD. From a medical perspective, this is an irregularity within the body.

But my uncle also used to smoke and work with paint. From a religious perspective, this is not an irregularity or something that proves the system isn’t functioning perfectly.

Both the medical view and the religious view can fully coexist—they emphasize different things.

Religion is, contrary to how it is often portrayed, extremely hardcore, with one hundred percent ownership of all your actions. So in the example of my uncle, religion would say: Why are you at the doctor’s office? You smoked and worked with paint. Your body is actually one hundred percent healthy. We should give your body a sticker for how well it’s functioning. But yes, you are going to die soon.

From a day-to-day psychological perspective, think about how big the shift is when you start to perceive that everything that should be here right now is here—including your pain, your anxiety, your self-doubt, down to every cell. The difference is enormous.

Learn Deep Learning and Think Multidimensionally — Without a Computer

Let’s take the simple sum:
1 + 1

From a mathematical perspective, the answer is 2.

But from other dimensions of thinking, this answer may not hold.

---

1. Identity Dimension

The left 1 is not the same as the right 1.
They exist in different positions, contexts, or even moments in time.
So when you use these 1s in another equation, information is lost — their uniqueness is ignored.

---

2. Shape Dimension

If you look only at the shapes of the symbols — the “1”s and the “+” — there is no inherent question or operation.
They are just forms, not functions.
Without interpretation, there is no sum.

---

3. Object Dimension

Now imagine 1 + 1 as real-world objects — say, apples.
You quickly run into deeper questions:

• Which apple are we starting with?
• Are the apples truly identical?
• Can two unique apples ever be summed as “2 apples” without losing their individuality?

In this dimension, context matters.
“1 + 1” is not just a number — it’s a story, a relationship, a transformation.